I Belong to me

The lyrics in musical songs have the power to move me, make me think and bring the unexpected tear to my eye. The song I belong to me from the musical Elisabeth did that like no other. Its power, its relevance and so recognisable.

That’s why I like to share it with you. Don’t use a tissue, just let the tears flow 🙂

English version by Susan Erens

Dutch version by Pia Douwes


English lyrics:

I will not give up my own self
Just to be with you
I will not be glad just to do
What I’m told to do
I’m not meant to be your property
No, I belong I me

If I want to reach for the stars
You can’t hold me back
I want to take chances
Far off from the beaten track
Don’t force me to be what I can’t be
I belong to me

If you try to tame me
I will not obey
I’d rather leave you alone
If you try to change me
I must break away
To be what I am on my own

I’m freezing, I’m burning
I live without compromise
I’m growing, I’m learning
I’m ready to pay the price
I know it’s not easy to be free
But I belong to me

I hate to be burdened
With duties that I despise
You know I can’t stand
To be watched by a thousand eyes
I flee from the crowd in agony
I just belong to me

If you want to keep me
Don’t hold me so tight
I can’t give my life for your love
If you want to break me
I’ll not even fight
I’ll just fly away like a dove

I’m here when you need me
I live and I die with you
I’ll share all your troubles
I’ll laugh and I’ll cry with you
You can blame me and bless me
But you cannot possess me
‘Cause I belong to me
To me!


Listen to silence

Sssstttt… Let’s walk into the forest and be still. Just say nothing. Just stand there for a second. You can close your eyes, or feast them on the beauty around you. But be still. Hear how the world comes alive around you.

You stay still and will hear only the sound of the trees. In the breath of Mother Earth, their leaves are moving gracefully. Alternating showing or blocking the bright rays of the sun. Take a deep breath and clear your mind. Is that a bird you hear?
You stay still. Yes! It is a bird. But he’s not alone, there are more birds. You hear the chirping of three birds. You can’t locate them, but you can hear them. One raises its voice as in a competition with the others. His sound is beautiful. A brief smile appears on your face.
You stay still. Is there something else? Yes, there is. It’s not a bird, it’s heavier. It doesn’t have a voice, but it’s there. It sounds like it’s dragging its tummy over the leafy floor. It stops, and moves.
You stay still. Is the sound coming from your left or right? Or maybe in front of you… Yes, yes, it is on your right. Under the bushes.
You stay still and move slowly towards the sound. There it is… You found it. By listening to the world, you are now looking at this beautiful creature.
You stay still. Are you curious what the creature is? Go out there and look, listen for it. If you listen to your silence, Mother Nature will make you smile and cry of beauty.

Give this text to a person you trust, with a voice and personality that calms you down. Have him or her read this to you. And be still. Listen to the voice. Listen to your silence. Listen to the words and let yourself be transported to another world. A world so close to you, that you’re probably overlooking it constantly.

Flight or Fight?

Monday March 28 2016. Second Easter day in the Netherlands. For me it was even more special.
That day I stepped on the Qatar flight to Uganda.
That day I slipped into a new chapter of my life.
That day I started a fight for the person I thought was lost. Me. The real me, whoever that was.

That day was exactly two years ago today. But my fight started long before that. When I started high school, I was filled with dreams, ambitions and ideals. That girl got pushed away by doubt, labels and insecurities. She was not allowed to exist.

Since then, I can look back on many moments of joy, hope and dreams. I have met the most colourful people of all corners of the world. I have come to know who my real friends are. I have tried to follow my dreams.

There were also moments of despair, depression and burnout. I have laid on the floor of my room, crying. I have hated the girl in my reflection so, so much. I have felt so much shame about feeling down and unhappy, that I never shared much of these feelings. Not with my closest friends and family, not with a therapist, not with the internet. But that’s about to change.

Full of excitement I to present to you: The B Word. A place where people who have lost themselves, their way and dreams can come to be cheered up and understood. I will share stories of myself and some of my closest friends. About Breaking, Burnouts and Blaming. About finding Beauty, Bliss and Balance. And maybe about Brownies and Butterflies. Just Because.

Two years ago, I left. Some might say I was fleeing away from my troubles. I’d say, I was fighting a fight, I apparently couldn’t win at home. But finally, I won. The girl in my reflection now, is new to me. I’ve never met her before, but is filled with inexhaustible love and familiar dreams. She feels good in her skin and that shows by how she glows. She is happy. She is me. And I can’t wait to share her story.


P.S. If you have feedback, tips or just would like to share your story, feel free to leave a comment under a post or contact me via the Contact page.

Say something nice

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Things have changed since Thumper said this for the first time on Disney’s Bambi. The nasty, hurtful comments on the internet are countless and it’s hard to find the few genuine nice comments. Instead of changing the internet, lets bring compliments back into the real world.

When you have a burnout or are just consumed with your own life, you’ll probably have trouble finding things to compliment on. You won’t notice your colleagues new dress, or the cologne of the postman. And that’s OK. Believe me, I’ve been there. Where I didn’t notice that my mother had changed things in the living room, even though the couch I was sitting on was brand new.

But when you do notice it and put the energy in complimenting that person. He or she will smile and that smile will find it’s way to your face. Even if it’s only a faint smile for just a second…positive energy for everyone!

Try to make an exercise out of it. Start by doing it once a week. Every Saturday (or whatever day suits you, just make sure you see people) you’ll find something that is nice about someone close to you and you’ll say it out load. Write down what you said and how it made you both feel. If you feel up to it, increase the frequency and compliment people further away from you. You’ll see that it gets easier and will make your world a little more positive.

Don’t overdo it though, no one likes a brown noser 😉